Preparing for a scary future
Growing up, I have always been a scrawny kid who wasn’t fit and wasn’t naturally good at sports. I failed all my NAPFA tests… so as a Singaporean male (or young boy, at the time), the thought of NS (National Service — Singapore’s active conscription system) absolutely terrified me. Two years of tough physical training and regimentation sounded like hell to me.
So when it came time to choose a CCA in secondary school when I was 13, I decided to join a uniformed group, specifically NPCC, to prepare myself for the inevitable. That was six full years before NS by the way… do you see how scared I was?
Unsurprisingly, I dreaded early Saturday mornings (our NPCC training day), which were filled with exhausting physical exercises, group punishment push ups, marching drills under the hot sun, and getting shouted at by our commanders. It wasn’t fun. I’m not sure what exactly kept me going, but I persevered. Maybe going through hardships with my fellow NPCC mates helped. Maybe I deeply wanted to get stronger through this experience.
And luckily for me, those four years in NPCC worked. When NS finally came, all the drills, punishments, shouting… didn’t shock me. I realised that I could manage, even if I still didn’t enjoy it.
Paying attention to what mattered to me
That dislike for the regimental lifestyle also gave me clarity. I knew I didn’t want to be a leader, or take on more responsibilities as a specialist or officer. During BMT, I told my commander honestly during one of those required interview sessions that I preferred to just be a “man” (i.e. a regular soldier). He seemed to understand and took note.
After BMT, I got what I wanted and was sent to a unit as a “man” and assigned a role. I didn’t love the work, but I did it dutifully.
Over time, something else started catching my attention. I noticed how many things in my unit camp were, well, badly designed. Slides, posters, videos, certificates… you name it. As someone trained in design (and who loves designing), it really bothered me. One day, not sure what got into me, I decided to approach my commander and express my desire to work on and help improve our unit’s visual materials.
After some consideration, he said yes, on the condition that I kept up with my assigned duties. I gave him my word.
From that moment, the way I experienced NS began to shift. Design work requests started coming in from all over camp. At first, I used a shared desktop to do the work. Later, the workload became so heavy that I was even provided my own laptop so I could use a proper design software and have internet access. That kind of access to resources was unheard of for a regular soldier, by the way!
Since they couldn’t offer me more pay, commanders occasionally gave me off days in recognition of my work. That was an amazing bonus, because it meant I could do what I love in camp and also spend less time in camp! That made a huge difference. I was still doing the army-related work, and yet I had more autonomy and freedom than I could ever imagine.
With more free time, I also kept working on my fitness and eventually scored my first Gold in IPPT. That was a milestone I never thought I’d hit.
By the end of NS, I wasn’t just surviving. I was thriving in my own way by focusing on what mattered to me.
Awareness leads to choice
The biggest lesson I took away from this is that no matter what happens, you always have a choice. Even in a situation like NS where so much feels out of your hands, you can still choose how you respond, how you show up, and how you shape your experience.
I chose to prepare for NS in advance, when I joined NPCC.
I chose to be honest about not wanting to lead at the beginning of NS.
I chose to offer my design skills and take initiative to contribute in a way that felt aligned during NS.
But none of that would have been possible without self-awareness. Before we can make meaningful choices, we need to know what we want, what we don’t want, what energises us, and what drains us. That awareness is what makes choice possible.
Of course, things could have gone differently. But I’m proud that I tried. If I hadn’t, I might have spent those two years miserable, bitter, and resigned. And that would have been a choice too.
So, what choice are you making today?
This post was first published on Substack.


