The narratives you create about yourself and the world determine how you perceive reality, how you feel, and how you act.
These narratives on your mind may be shaped by family upbringing, knowledge instilled from childhood, dogmatic beliefs, traumatic experiences, etc.
Here’s a few examples of unhelpful narratives that people can have:
- I’m not good enough
- Nothing ever goes my way
- People are out to hurt me
- I’m too inexperienced / too old / too (adjective) to do ____
- If my loved ones do ____, it means that they don’t love me
If a person holds on to unhelpful narratives, it can lead to feelings of insecurity, negativity, hopelessness, hurt, self-doubt, and disappointment.
People may also unknowingly look for signs and evidence to reinforce their narratives, and take actions that end up being self-fulfilling prophecies.
Unhelpful narratives greatly limit a person’s life and growth.
You have the power and responsibility to change the narratives that are not serving you.
While you have no control over how people think, what they do, what shows up on the internet, etc, you have control over your thoughts, your choices, your actions, your words and how your spend your time.
Steps to change the story you tell yourself:
1. Catch yourself in the act: Gain awareness and recognise self-limiting stories whenever they pop up.
2. Analyse the story: Ask yourself — Where did it come from? Is it helpful? Is it even true?
3. Choose a better story: For every story you have for why you can’t do something, there’s another one you can tell yourself for why you can. Find that story and hold on to it. Encouraging words from someone you respect is a good starting point.
4. Install the new story: Practise telling yourself this new story at key moments until they become automatic. When you hear the old story pop up, tell yourself “I hear you. But now, I have this other story…”
Here’s a few examples of positive narratives to counter unhelpful narratives:
- I am capable and deserving of success
- Every challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow
- I trust and have faith in myself and others
- I have the power to create the life I want. My traits do not define me.
- I am worthy of love and I love myself. Other people’s actions and words don’t define my worth.
Change the story in your head, and you can change your world outside of it.
Sure, it’s easier said than done.
But it’s definitely a skill worth practising.